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Not Your Average Dating Sim

Dating sims are often distinguished by characters who happily consent to any kind of relationship the player or protagonist wants with them. Female characters are rarely given desires and preferences independent of the wants of a presumed male, heterosexual player - they are limited in all sorts of way.


There are many people growing up on such dating sims and other media which depict selfish relationships and suggest that you can treat women possessively. As such, it is not surprising that an inordinate number of people within anime/gaming communities have dangerously immature views on women and relationships. While having romance games that provide escapism for heterosexual males is healthy, having communities and subcultures based around romance games that provide an infantilized view of relationships is not. This proves especially true is societies that teach men to prioritize their own wants and needs above those of women.


Keeping this in mind, Doki Doki Literature Club's character Monika may serve as an attempt to scare those who think of women through the lens of dating sims. Through her, Team Salvato demonstrates how having another person making decisions about your life reduces your agency and constitutes controlling behavior (especially in the context of a relationship). Regardless of the options that you pick before the deaths of Sayori and Yuri, you do not get your desired outcome because Monika in pulling the strings to bring about the results that SHE wants. It leaves you feeling helpless and unheard (just as a real person in this situation would feel). The game further reinforces this denial of agency when you are asked to pick which girl you want to make your partner and are only given the option "Monika".


Monkia cares so little about your free will that she even expects you to reorganize your life around her. The real horror here is that Monika follows the script of an abusive and controlling player while doing nothing more than treating you the same way any dating sim player would treat the love interests in one of these games.

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Jimmy Christensen
Nov 11, 2019

I like the idea of trying to dissuade the players of these games that women are things to possess. However, I'm not entirely certain if visual novels are to blame for this. While I have no doubt that bad visual novels which reinforce this idea exist, the only two dating sims I have played through are DDLC and Katawa Shoujo. Like this post suggests, DDLC is one that dissuades from the possessive idea of visual novels. In Katawa Shoujo, similar ideas were presented. If the player acted possessive of the female counterpart, the game would lead into the female character snapping and leaving the main character, ending whatever friendship or relationship they might've had. While I begrudgingly admit t…

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