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Considering Sex and Gender in ASMR

In researching and exploring ASMR, I became intrigued by its relationship to sexuality and the apparent gendered and racialized aspects of the genre. While searching on Youtube, I found that there were many more female ASMRtists, most of them white, especially among the most popular channels (ASMR Darling, Gibi ASMR, Gentle Whispering ASMR...)


One of the most popular channels is Life with Mak (1.1 subs), which features a thirteen year old who mostly uploads beauty videos and ASMR eating and nail tapping. I say she's popular not just because of her subscriber count, but also because her videos are often turned into gifs and used all over Twitter and Facebook. One Buzzfeed article proclaimed that she has "become a meme" (Stryker). I think this links back to some of our comments about proliferation and how these genres spread and cross over.


Due to her age, there have been some conversations about whether it's "appropriate" for a 13 year old to have an ASMR channel. I think this comment points to the kind of "weirdness" associated with ASMR and the fact that it is often linked to sex or sensuality. I don't think there's anything inherently sexual about ASMR, but there is no denying that it has crossed over into sexual spaces and pornography.


There was a particular amount of controversy that started over a video she posted of her doing an ASMR "Sassy Cop" roleplay. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glb08Qjanvs). She also posted a photo of herself in the cop costume on instagram, which caused further controversy. Many people in the comments remarked that the video was uncomfortable and strange, but this is not the only roleplay she's posted. Across her channel, " Makenna has made several of these—mostly “sassy” role plays, which she says her subscribers tend to favor, where she insults the viewer or ignores them, with an air of teenage disdain she’s too young to have yet herself. She’s played a range of professions, including sassy flight attendant, sassy waitress, sassy librarian, sassy dentist, and sassy Zumiez cashier," (Hitt).


Of course, there are other factors at work in why people found Mak's videos uncomfortable, like her age, but I bring her example up to start thinking about this connection between ASMR and sexuality. Within the ASMR community, this connection is generally disputed. One user on the r/asmr thread posted, "It is merely the fetishisation of ASMR videos and belongs in the class of fetish videos as such. Anything can be fetishized. " (Interestingly, this thread conversation dates back to 5 years ago.)


There are other issues still with the connection between ASMR and sex, with content creators on YouTube finding their videos demonetized and seen as "non-advertiser friendly" even if there is no overtly sexual content in the video (Hitt).


Even if ASMR isn't inherently sexual or meant that way in its practice, some have noticed some similarities between it and common pornography tropes. One obvious overlap would be the popularity of roleplay, while another article in a German newspaper "observed that the comparison extends to even the pattern in which videos are consumed" (Hitt). Hitt summarizes the findings of the article as follows: "Frequent watchers often return to “favorite” videos, but because ASMR triggers are habituating and lose their effect over time, users perpetually need to seek out new sources of stimulation."


Back to Life with Mak, this link between ASMR and sex was what set people on edge about her videos, especially the roleplays.


I think it's clear that ASMR is pretty gendered - it occurs through an experience of care and intimacy, acts that are typically associated with women, and most of the "roleplays" include stereotypical presentations of femininity or feminine careers. Even her "sassy" concept has something to do with gender. The fact that most ASMRtists seem to be women, especially the popular ones, speaks to a general expectation for the role of women in society as well as heternormative connections between women and caretaking. In addition, some research has connected ASMR to oxytocin, "the 'trust' hormone", which is released during bonding relations like childbirth, hugging, grooming, etc (Hitt). Mak's videos then also represent a kind of reversal in the parent/child dynamic that usually characterizes care. Looking at Mak's social media, she definitely seems to see herself as a caretaker for her fans.


To end, I wanted to point to another article that discusses ASMR and sexuality in perhaps a more positive way. The author argues that it allow us to "reimagine" sex, to reframe it as "any embodied technique of pleasure, intimacy, and care, while sexuality could refer to an infinite scope of techniques within that category" (Leigh). She continues, "by asking what sex does to the body rather than what it means for the subject, we may be able to cast aside sexuality’s moralistic conundrums and better attend to its affective aspects. [...] ASMR performances may be one means of transgressing the interdictions on when and how bodies may access one another, sowing the seeds for cultivating alternative, pleasurable, intimate, and caring modes of life." While I need to spend a bit more time with this idea that ASMR may offer a different conception of sex and sexuality, it is interesting to think of a genre as a space for cultivating care and relaxation, especially in the chaos of "always-on" computing.


Sources


Life with Mak: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC88Qzl8DnaiR0Pxadh56iQw


Reddit r/asmr thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/asmr/comments/1c8yp2/and_now_there_is_officially_asmr_porn_thoughts/


Hitt, Tarpley. "LifeWithMak and the Weird World of YouTube’s Child ASMR-tists." 20 Oct 2018.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/youtubes-most-popular-asmr-tist-is-just-13-years-old-is-that-weird-3


Leigh, Emma. "Mediated Sexuality in ASMR Videos." 14 Dec 2015.

https://soundstudiesblog.com/2015/12/14/affect-and-sexuality-in-asmr-videos/

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